I have been devistated by his loss and have been crying nearly once every hour since his death. Including crying myself to sleep.
On Monday morning he had a seizure and he threw up after and seemed tired after but also seemed fairly fine... On Tuesday he was again very tired but did drink and eat ... But then on Wednesday he was fairly cold and dehydrated and hardly moving so we took him straight to the vet who gave him fluids both internally and under his skin ... he couldnt have a drip because of being so tiny.... The vet called at 2pm to say he was doing a bit better and to call them at 5 to see if he could come home...
So at 5 we called and they said he was still unwell but could come home with us, so we went and got him... they gave us some glucose to mix up and to give him a few drops every 30 minutes or so and we were told to keep him warm ...
About an hour after getting home he wanted to go on the floor, where he pooped and then walked over to the water bowl, but didnt have anything to drink... I picked him back up and gave him a bit of glucose and kept him warm... He seemed to do so much better and with his walk to the water bowl I was feeling much happier about his condition, but then he started to have small seizures, within minutes of each other and then he died in my arms.
He is being cremated and I will have a silver locket with some of his ashes in as well as a silver heart with the rest of his ashes in... In the gold locket I have, I have some of his fur, which my husband cut from Sheldon for me.
I had hand raised this little man from basically the time he was born and he was such a mamma's boy, he would come to me the minute he heard my voice. He was the closet thing I had to a human baby.
I can not understand it and I just want to rewind time to when Sheldon was just 4 weeks old and start again from there and do things slightly different, like I would keep him from his siblings who were rather mean to him... as maybe they were too rough on him and banged his soft spot early monday morning which then caused his seizures... If I haad kept him isolated until they went to new homes maybe he would still be here... There are other things that I keep thinking about... but I know none of it will bring him back.... but I cant deal with his loss, I miss him so much.
This is the poem I wrote for him the day after he died...
"Sheldons Loss"
The heavens cried
The night Sheldon died
The tiniest biy
Filled my heart with joy
But now he is gone
I dont want to go on
So much pain
In my heart and brain
Something has died
Deep inside
And its ripped me apart
And its killed my heart.
This photo of Sheldon taken 12 days before he died.
He was such a beautiful, loving little boy who just wanted to be with me as soon as he would hear my voice.
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