My Husband ...

My husband is a wonderful man, just by the fact that he loves me so much even though I have issues.

Of course he has his faults, we all do and after 18 years together I have found a number of the things he does that drives me crazy.

Some of those things though are exasperated by my aspergers.

But my husband is a saint to put up with me.

I think the hardest thing is the fact that change upsets me, esspecially sudden change.... If I know he is working certain times but that changes suddenly and he has to work longer, that upsets me.

I need time to adjust to changes, sudden changes can cause me to become mute and upset.

At times I can be child like, as in I know that I should be calling a duck a duck but for me its a duckie, same with horsey and doggy and Kitty. I can also get upset like a child at small things, and like a child I sometimes need someone to make sure I drink and eat as I tend to forget.

I dont want to be this way, no woman who is around 40 wants to be so child like, but its who I am and if I controlled it all the time I would always be slightly stressed because I wouldnt be me. Luckily I am not this way 24/7 and am a grown up most of the time.

I would give anything not to have Aspergers because it is isolating and stressful, lonely and sometimes confussing. But Aspergers is not a disease that needs to be cured, its a condition you are born with, which makes it part of you.

David is special in the fact that he accepts me the way I am no matter what and loves me for me... to be honest its hard to find anyone who can accept you that completely...

Most people expect an equal give and take in any type of relationship, whether that is a friendship or more, but for most people like me with Aspergers, we can not give you an equal give and take relationship, because while we want friends we are not good at doing the things a friendship requires, such as conversation ... many of us have aversions to phones and wont talk on the phone ... I'll only talk on the phone with my husband and my neice and my 2 sisters, but even with them I dont always have much to add to the conversation.

Many women with Aspergers are not interested in going shopping and going for a coffee is hard because we dont do well around a lot of people.

So being our friend is hard and you will probably give more of yourself than we seem to, but we will be your friend forever if you are our friend and we wont gossip about you or back stab you and if you need us and we can be there for you we will.

Finding a partner can be harder than finding a friend because we have so many issues that NT partners find it hard to be with us long term.

So I am lucky that I have been with my husband for 18 years now and the fact he still loves me and is there for me proves that he is special in so many way.

:)