A Giving and Receiving Question

Are people with Aspergers / Autism lacking in reciprocity?


Civilized societies are based on the principle of reciprocity; of returning favours, sometimes often mistaken for altruism. People normally give with the expectation to receive something in return, and when given something, they feel obliged to return the favour. One gives to oblige. Without this principle, societies beyond the size of a tribe could not exist.

In some people with Asperger Syndrome, this mechanism is clearly absent. When given something, they feel no obligation.

And when they give, they give freely, without expecting anything in return.

They do not give to oblige, but are truly altruistic.

This applies not only to material giving, but also to communication, and is related to the long intervals in contact with others, the discontinuity, the apparent silence or having forgotten about the other person.

I am exactly like this, I like to give things to people that I care about, even when I can not afford to. I dont expect anything in return...

I am learning though that sometimes people take that for granted and are willing to use you to get things with the knowledge that you will not expect anything in return and will keep on giving.

Getting gifts makes me nervous for this reason, as I do not know if I am expected to give them something in return.

And like I have mentioned before I do go for very long times without being in contact with people and yet I understand that most NT people like to have lots of contact and they can not understand that I still care and think about them even when I do not talk to them.

I think sometimes that is an issue with having a brain that is wired differently.. I can understand that people like to have regular contact, but even knowing that; I can not program my brain to do it. Its kind of like having a short circuit I guess.